This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
