my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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