There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize