was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
