she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
