she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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