hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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