I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
