# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Im part way to drunk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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