I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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