I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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