i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
