We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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