Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
