dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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