Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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