I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
