he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
