Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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