Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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