I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
