I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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