where am i from again
if only i could text you this smell
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
