I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
