Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
