Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
