Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
