It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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