i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize