i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize