I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
be right there i have to get my cape
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
