Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize