So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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