so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
