3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
