So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
