I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
