Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
