Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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