In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize