I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize