He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
