i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
