She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
