thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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