this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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