I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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