Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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