I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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