his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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