Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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