The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
