I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
