its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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