margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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